Valley Village's The Fifth Is Guilty of Being a Fancy Dive Bar

Like reality television, “fancy” and “dive bar” are two words that don’t belong together.  I always envision dive bars as seedy places that are half-a-violation away from getting their liquor license revoked, and local patrons with sketchy pasts mingle suspiciously alongside the resident cockroaches.

But on a windy Wednesday night, a friend and I find ourselves at , a fancy dive bar tucked away in the corner of a strip mall off Whitsett and Riverside. The bar’s name is written in swanky white script on a black oval sign trimmed with bright globe lights, but it easily could have been a blinking marquee in capital letters exclaiming, “CLASSY COCKTAILS SERVED HERE.” Like any refined lady of class, The Fifth prefers a subtle hint of elegance over an extravagant, flashy show.

After walking a mile in the blustery cold (we opted for a car-less adventure), we're standing in the dim-lit lounge, surprised to see only a handful of other people in their ’20s and ’30s. It’s the kind of place Don Draper might call his second home, but it’s also welcoming enough for Peggy Olson and her friends.  One wall is covered with mid-century inspired avocado-green diamond-patterned wallpaper, and the seating area has wall-to-wall tufted black vinyl seats. Straight ahead there’s a pool table, but for the rest of us who lack motor skills (sober or otherwise), there are vintage arcade games that also serve as tables and conversation starters.

The seats at Ms. Pac-Man are miraculously empty, so we claim our spots and order our drinks. There’s no beer on tap, so we both get a bottle of Guinness for five dollars each. 

The jukebox has a little something for everyone. For a dollar, you can start off with a track from Florence + the Machine, then get trashy with Guns N' Roses and finish the set with NWA. If you’ve got another dollar, you can get glam-tastic with Bowie, dance to Depeche Mode and settle down with Stevie Nicks.

I walk up to the bar and ask Courtney, the bartender, what she recommends. “What are you in the mood for?” she asks, but I explain that I’m actually allergic to alcohol (it's true - I usually stick to small amounts of beer), and that I'll take recommendations for friends. Courtney tells me one of her favorite drinks to make is “Sex with the ‘X,” a cocktail of Ketel One, X-Rated Liqueur, Cointreau and a splash of lime. All of their drinks are based on the classics, she says, with a little of the bartenders’ own twists. 

We stay for an hour-and-a-half and play Ms. Pac-Man until my husband picks us up — he’s worried that the high winds that almost knocked half a palm tree onto him hours earlier might not be ideal walking weather.  The next day, we learned the same Santa Ana winds also caused Pasadena to declare a state of emergency and left thousands without electricity for days. (Good call, husband.)

When I return with my husband and three other friends on a Saturday night at around the same time, the place seems packed for its standards. There’s just over 30 people, but the place still feels busy. In true dive bar fashion, some ’80s hair band is blasting overhead. Though I’m not a big GNR fan and my alcohol allergy only allows me limited cocktail samplings, I have a feeling I’ll be returning soon – that score on Ms. Pac-Man is waiting for a challenge.