About this column:
NoHo Noir is fiction that’s not for the faint-hearted. Written by Katherine Tomlinson and illustrated by Mark Satchwill, these tales are weekly walks on the wild side, narratives torn from the bleeding heart of North Hollywood and Toluca Lake; stories of love and death and everything that lies between…“Your daddy was a rascal,” the preacher’s sister said to Jim. “That he was,” Jim replied thinking, you have no idea. He looked around for an avenue of escape and spotted his grandson talking to Clarence’s two best friends, all three of them giggling like fools about something. “Will you excuse me Miss Ella? I see some folks I need to talk to.” He had sidled away before she could frame a reply. As much as Jim admired Ella Rossmore for her good works and tasty caramel cake, he knew she’d been lonely since her husband died and was looking for someone else to dote on. Jim didn’t do “dote.” “There…
Mary knew it was a lame premiere as Hollywood premieres went, but she still wanted to go. And she wanted to go by herself, which upset her mom. She and Maggie had been pretty much joined at the hip since her rescue, and while that was mostly good, Mary knew she was going to have to start doing some things on her own or risk turning into one-half of a doubles act, like the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. When she got a text from Dane Collins telling her he was coming to town for the premiere and asking her if she’d go with him, Mary was thrilled. She’d met him in Vancouver when she and Maggie had …
The last thing Ethan felt like doing on his night off was going to the theater but he had promised Jill months ago that he’d come to see her in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She was playing Titania, the fairy queen, and he gathered that was a good part. At least he hadn’t had to pay for the play; Jill had left two comp tickets at the box office. “I love this play,” Andy said happily as they settled in their seats. “I saw it last year at Stratford. Great production.” “Hi Ethan,” Shari said as she crossed in front of him and Andy. She had a girl with her but Ethan couldn’t tell if she was a friend…
Celia had brought her laptop to the coffee shop as a prop. If her date didn’t show up, she was just another writer tapping away at her computer and drinking a coffee milkshake. If he did show up, she could use whatever was on the screen as a way of jump-starting the conversation. Getting the guy’s take on the news of the day was a useful way of getting straight to the core of his beliefs, Celia had found. And if the guy didn’t have an opinion, Celia wrote him off right away. She’d been a political science major before she went to film school; people who didn’t care about what was going on …
In the wake of her father and brother’s arrests, Rouzan had moved out of her parents’ home and into an FBI safe house. It was a small place that smelled like cigarettes and fresh paint and she hated being cooped up there all day. The agents refused to let her out of their sight and the one time she tried to sneak away, she was caught before she got a block from the house and locked in for the night just so they could make a point. Rouzan had been swept up into their custody so fast that she hadn’t really had time to pack. She’d left her iPod in her bedroom, and was getting antsy from music …
The baby had been crying all morning. It’s almost as if he knows, Jill thought. Maybe babies have the same sixth sense that pets do when changes are about to happen. “Maybe he’s sick,” Shari suggested. Shari had been couch-surfing with Jill and Ethan since breaking up with Heather, and the plan was for her to start paying rent when Ethan moved out. Ethan had assured Jill he’d still help pay her rent, but she was panicking about the money. It’s not that she didn’t believe Ethan would live up to his obligations but she didn’t see how he was going to manage it. He could have moved in with his …
About the same time James Garrett realized his son hadn’t returned from his bike ride, Paula McIlhenny discovered her granddaughter was gone from the crib they’d improvised from a padded crate in the otherwise empty room that had been her nursery. The first thing James did was call Ty’s best friend Asher, then his second best friend Neo. When they told him they had no idea where Ty was, James called his dad. Then he called the police. Paula reacted to Gertie’s disappearance by taking a Valium. Big Tim was out in the rental car, picking up supplies for the trip and she knew the little girl …
It was the first night Lyla hadn’t taken an Ambien to help her sleep since Rob had been arrested. Larissa was spending the night with her sister in Celia’s new apartment and the house was blissfully quiet. Lyla had nuked a Lean Cuisine for dinner, washed it down with just one glass of wine, and then gone to bed early after watching an episode of Castle. If she’d taken an Ambien, she would have slept right through the phone call. As it was, she woke up disoriented and fuzzy-headed. As she fumbled for the phone, she glanced at the clock. Five-thirteen. Her heart stopped. Lara? Celia? Gari…? “…
Si had been thinking about joining the Peace Corps ever since Christopher’s killer had been arrested. In the weeks after his son’s murder, Si had gone to a dark and scary place. He’d spent his nights roaming the streets of North Hollywood, looking for the man whose face was burned into his brain. The news stations had run the store’s security footage in prime time and then posted it on their Web site. Anyone who wanted to could click on the link and watch his son die in grainy black and white, just like watching some forgotten 50s movie. He had read the comments posted below the video and …
Maggie Hamilton had not been in favor of Mary’s plan to blow up Helen Parrish’s house. She’d looked at the real estate comps and been horrified by how much a three-bedroom house in Toluca Lake was worth. Mary’s therapist had been all for it, though, and so Maggie had bitten her tongue and kept quiet. At first, Mary had wanted to throw everything in the house onto the street for anyone who might want the stuff, but Shari had talked her out of that. “Why not donate it?” she’d suggested, “or have an estate sale and donate the money?” That had made sense to Mary and she’d let Shari take care of …
Ash’s Auntie Nalini opened the door when Sera knocked. It was an hour before Ash and Minta’s engagement party was supposed to start and Nalini was in full makeup but hadn’t changed into her party clothes. She didn’t recognize the fat girl on her doorstep but assumed she was with the musicians setting up in the back yard, so she simply opened the door wider, and let her in. As Sera walked past, she handed Nalini a heavy aluminum pan covered with foil. “I brought some appetizers,” Sera said. “That was kind of you,” Nalini said, wrinkling her nose at the smell wafting from the container as she …
If he hadn’t had such a crappy job, Cristo would never even have noticed the squirrely guy in the parking lot. He looked like every other creepy asshole lurking in parking lots all over the city. But because Cristo was responsible for all the photocopying done in Rep. Barbara Zavala’s office, he'd recognized the guy from the wanted poster right away. He’d grown a beard, but it was about as effective as a domino mask in hiding his identity, and Cristo didn’t have to look twice to be sure. The guy in the parking lot was the same guy who’d killed two people at a 7-Eleven; the same guy who had a…
Ty was at his father’s, so it was just Erika and Gertie in the house. Gertie was fussing, as usual, and the sound of her fretting was getting on Erika’s nerves. She’d told the doctor that the baby cried all the time and asked him if there was something she could give her to make her stop. She didn’t tell him about the night she’d given the baby a sip of night-time cold medicine to knock her out. It had done the trick but Erika was afraid to try it again. The doctor was not terribly sympathetic. Erika suspected he was mad at her for refusing the breastfeed the baby. He’d told her to try …
Lem woke to find Marta’s side of the bed empty and cold. He fumbled for his glasses so he could see the clock on the bedside table. 1:35 a.m. It had seemed later. When he was a kid, Lem had an amazing sense of chrono-awareness. If he woke in the night, which he rarely did, he could guess what time it was within two or three minutes every time. It was a peculiar and useless skill but Lem had cherished it. Now that he was old, he woke up nearly every two hours nearly every single night, summoned to alertness by the pressure on his bladder. By the time he made his way to the bathroom, he’d be …
The first inkling anyone had that Anna Lee was in trouble was when the guy from the State Department showed up at the door of Jessica’s guest house. He told her that Anna had been arrested in Hong Kong. He told her it didn’t look good. Her association with Sebastian Ming (aka “Ming the Merciless”) had been documented for the last six months, and even though everyone wanted to believe her protests that she was a dupe and an innocent, the evidence against her was overwhelming. The list of charges was overwhelming. “We traced Ming as far as Phuket,” the State Department guy told Jessica, “and …
“You’re not wearing that are you?” Heather asked as Shari emerged from the bedroom in a kicky little vintage dress she’d found in a shop on Magnolia. “Is that a trick question?” Shari asked, deliberately deflecting because she didn’t want to fight any more. “You look nice,” she added, which was almost true. Heather was wearing her favorite “little black dress,” the one that showed off her curves, but she’d embellished it with a tacky red sateen bow pinned to the waist that made it look like she’d sat on an errant Christmas present and ended up with the bow squashed onto her butt. She’d added …
Barney had been skeptical when the man first showed up. Since Mom’s mate had left there had been a couple of males who’d joined the pack for a night or two, but none of them had stayed. This man was different, though. He was older than the usual visitors for one thing. He moved like an alpha but he didn’t fight Mom for control of the pack like a lot of the other males had. And he was sick. Barney could smell the sickness on him, a faint warning odor. Barney knew the scent. He’d smelled it on Mom’s sire the last few times he’d been in the house. Barney knew it was a bad smell. The first time …
Rouzan was going crazy. Nobody would tell her what had happened to Nick the night her brother found her his bedroom. Nobody would discuss the circumstances of her current house arrest, not even her mother. She was back in her old bedroom in her parents’ house. In many ways it was just like high school except that her father had confiscated her car keys, taken away her cell phone and laptop, and made it clear that the only way she was going to leave the house was in the company of her brother or one of the family’s endless supply of hench-thugs. Rouzan had begged her mother to go online to …
Erika had brought the baby home four days ago and still hadn’t named it. She had taken a cab from the hospital because no one had offered her a ride and she was too proud to call James. Her doctor had strongly encouraged her to breast feed, but the baby didn’t want to take the nipple and fussed and cried every time Erika tried. It didn’t help that her left breast didn’t seem to be producing milk. She finally gave up and ordered baby formula from vons.com, along with some groceries so she wouldn’t have to go out. She’d ordered fast food every night since she’d gotten home. Ty didn’t mind at …
Ash and Mita had just come out of “An Early Evening With Kevin Smith” and were trying to decide if they wanted to go to the Star Wars Trivia Game Show or the panel called Femme Fatales Revealed. Ash had gone to every San Diego Comic-Con since he’d moved to Los Angeles in 2001 and it seemed to him that there was a lot more girl power going on this year than ever before. And a whole lot more attention being paid to gay geeks as well. To his surprise, he’d really enjoyed hanging out with Mita. She hadn’t insisted that they stick together, so while she was off getting Carrie Vaughn’s autograph at…