Why NoHo kicks WeHo's Halloween-ie

I have never been a big Halloween fan. I don't really get into dressing up. I rarely get trick or treaters (especially after forgetting to buy candy one year and resorted to giving out fingerling potatoes), I have an aversion to people in masks, and I just really hate the pressure of needing to feel like I have forever abandoned my youth if I just want to get into my fat pants, order Thai food, and watch the first 15 minutes of a netflix movie before falling asleep; there by avoiding the whole holiday all together. Every year, however, I buck up and force myself to do something. And every Halloween I am confronted with the big question from my West Hollywood cohorts, "Hey, wanna come over and we can walk down to Santa Monica for the parade?" One year I said yes and found myself quickly pressed into the glass door of a store front while a few hundred thousand people? chaotically pushed through on the sidewalk each trying to go in the opposite direction of the other. Never again! If your idea of Halloween involves getting drunk at a friends apartment and navigating your way through a sea of slutty sponge bob no pants only to lose your friends and crashing on the couch of a guy who started a conversation with you by asking if you liked his lobe spacers then the West Hollywood Parade is for you. Yet, my WeHo friends refuse to venture over the hill for a little Valley Yard Haunt fun. And for that I say, "Ha-Ah Suckas! You are missing out!" Because NoHo kicks Weho's Halloweenie!! The valley is filled with the most creative, outrageous, and inventive yard haunts. Many of the home owners are award winning set designers, prop-ists, and sound/electric magicians. They turn their front yards into automated haunts with cauldron fountains spewing streams of neon green radioactive goo and interactive skeleton crystal ball seeing gypsies that rival a trip to Disneyland. There are amateur haunts that are so gorrey and gooey with coffins and bones, zombies and dislocated body parts that represent everything that you love/hate about your hometown haunted house. As well, as beautiful works of art. All of these, every detail, painstakingly conceived, built and installed throughout the year to be brought to life for one-night only and then laboriously dismantled. Thousands of dollars and countless hours spent for the sheer purpose of spreading terror throughout a usually calm and peaceful neighborhood. If you find yourself reading this and lamenting the err of your WeHo ways. Have no fear. There are still some yard haunts open for the weekend. I found this list on www.hollywoodgothique.com which is a superb resource for everything Halloween in LA. DIY House Haunt Location: 11206 Califa Street, North Hollywood, CA 91601 Dates: November 2 Hours: sunset until midnight, Description: Do-It-Yourself Halloween enthusiasts “Charlemagne Lazarus” (a.k.a. “Charlemagne Kinsman,” a.k.a. Brian Miller) throws his hat into the ring with this new home haunt. The DIY Haunt House is described as short and suspenseful, with a low fright level but probably not appropriate for children under eight. The haunt is free. The entrance is on the cross street, Fair Avenue. The Haunt with No Name Yet Location: 19351 Hatteras Street, Tarzana, CA Dates: November 1 & 2. Hours: 6-10pm Description: This spooky yard haunt – unnamed yet far from anonymous – returns for another Halloween of subtle scares. There are no living monsters, but there are plenty of spirits, decorations, and a few amazing effects. Free for all. Great for kids, as long as they are not too easily scared. The House at Haunted Hill Location: 4400 Saltillo Street, Woodland Hills, CA Dates: November 1-3 Hours: 7pm-midnight on Friday and Saturday, 7-10pm on Sunday Description: The most elaborate yard haunt in Los Angeles returns for another Halloween, featuring spectacular lighting and effects timed to a pre-recorded story conveyed with music, narration, and dialogue. Admission is free, but the event does get crowded, so come early and expect to walk (nearby parking is at a premium).