What can you say when you are told that someone's special someone has died?
When that person is looking into your face. Perhaps hoping for comfort. You see the need in their eyes. The words don't form easily. Think, think. Somehow of the spiritual or pious quotes you usually think of, don't come." Maybe that's not nurturing enough." "I don't want to say the wrong thing"." I want this person to know that I care", and that they feel understood". "I want to be a most sensitive person", saying one thing that will make everything clear. One thing that will make a difference. Tell a joke? Anything!
She walked into the shop today, 3 minutes after I arrived and opened the doors. I thought to myself, " Can't I ever catch a break?". "3 minutes after I walk in?". I smiled.
"Do you need something specific?", I asked. "No", she answered. She said nothing else. I'd seen her before. As per usual, I remembered that we had met but I couldn't think of her name. After 10 minutes or so, she thanked me( by name) for "allowing" her to look about. "Of course", I said, "Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?". She nodded yes,and told me that she came into the shop to have a bit of "quiet reflection". She continued. " I feel calm when I come here". I thought to myself, "That is the goal".
And not until that moment did I realize that it IS the goal of what this life is about.
She looked at me and said,"The most important person in my life died yesterday. I made phone calls and handled details, I got dressed and found myself here in this peaceful, place."
We hugged each other for a good minute or more.
What can you say when you are told that someone's special someone has died?
Sometimes nothing. xo I
